You Know you're from Guam when ---

You roll your long sleeve up and call it semi-formal.

You use Spam as a main course.

You wear a T-shirt to go swimming at the beach.

You're swimming and you get out because it's raining.

You set aside a box of envelopes for "chenchuli (church offerings) only".

You arrive at church after the offertory is done.

You include your chenchuli as a tax deduction.

You can fit your family of 5 into the front of your pickup.

You wear a baht chain while standing in a food stamp line.

The waitress at Shirley's says, "The usual today?"

You eat Spaghetti with rice.

You invest in (4) different raffle ticket drawings.

You use your whole paycheck for a "small" family barbeque.

You have beer available at a kid's birthday party and even a funeral.

You use a weed eater to mow your yard.

Your blue jeans measurements are waist 40,length 30.

You ask for Catsup instead of ketchup.

You fill your plate up at a fiesta then ask for Diet pepsi.

You ask for ketchup and get soy sauce.

Your favorite dance is the Cha-Cha.

You think your karaoke version sounds just like the original song.

You actually sit down and listen to an Amway presentation.

The stoplight turns RED and you think you still have 10 seconds to pass.

You stand 1 hour in line for a 29 cent stamp.

You give directions to your home using people's names.

(sample: You know where si John Cruz lives, near Bobby Flores' house... I'm right across)

You think a vegetarian is someone who operates on pets.

You think softball players are "real" athletes.

Your idea of safe sex is when her husband or parents don't catch you.

You wash your hands AFTER you're done eating (not before).

You collect money from your relatives when leaving the island.

You have a flat tire and you use the spare...for three months.

AND FINALLY........

You know You're from guam when you can't find a boyfriend or girlfriend because you're related to everyone...but you date them anyway.