WHY GOD NEVER RECEIVED TENURE AT ANY UNIVERSITY

*1. He had only one major publication.
*2. It was in Hebrew.
*3. It had no references.
*4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
*5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
*6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
*7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
*8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
*9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
*10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
*11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
*12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.
*13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
*14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
*15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
*16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.