Meditations at Pendle Hill - Dialogue
by Ham Sok-Hon I had a strange dream one night in November at Pendle Hill. By nearly any measure, my life has been for the most part a failure. As I get older, I feel it is important to try to open my inward spirit. I prefer the Gospel of John to any of the others. It has helped to open my inward spirit. It can be said that Quaker Friends in general like John's Gospel. Most of their faith is based on it. The reason I became interested in the Gospel according to John wasn't because of Quakerism but because of Him who speaks within me. It would be true if I said that I became a Quaker because of my interest in the Gospel of John. In this Gospel there are many episodes which stir my spirit. There are three stories which have impressed me the most. The first is the dialogue between Jesus and the Samaritan woman which took place beside Jacob's well in Chapter four; the second, in Chapter eight where a woman had been brought into the temple because she had been caught in the act of adultery and in Chapter twelve where Mary poured precious perfume on the feet of Jesus and wiped them with her hair a week before Jesus died.
All three of these women had failed in life and were despised. What is John emphasizing in these three episodes? The Gospel of John is different from the other Gospels because John recognized in the life of Jesus the true depth of his character, he chose to write about this aspect -- the depth of character of Jesus. Therefore, when we rend John's Gospel, it is not surprising that our inward spirit is opened. These three stories have left a very strong impression upon me. Even though I have read John's Gospel many times I still find that it leaves a deep impression upon me.
I AM HE
The dialogue between Jesus and the Samaritan woman is the greatest truth in my estimation found in the New Testament. He said to her at one point "I am He." This must have surprised the Samaritan woman for she thought he was a tired traveler who needed a rest and wanted to quench his thirst. Jesus, when he saw the woman, recognized, for he has the power of insight into other minds, that she was thirsty in spirit. Being Jesus he could not pass her by in that condition. Jesus was faced with the dilemma, "how could he reach her and help her with her spiritual needs. He realized that to talk about spiritual things would be difficult for her so he started with casual things of daily life. She apparently was a very poor woman who had come to take water for her family. His first question was, "Please give me a drink of water."
The woman answered, "You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan, how can you ask me for a drink of water?" It was a good question. Although he had asked her to give him a drink of water, he thought inwardly that she should have asked him to give her a drink.
Jesus said, "I could give you a drink if you would ask me." Still the woman didn't understand. Not only did she not hear him but she had also failed to listen. But Jesus was not prepared to leave her alone, he continued to talk with her and while doing so, kept her from running away by stretching out his arm.
Suddenly He said to her, changing the subject, "Go and call your husband and come back." Jesus knew that she was a troubled woman for she had had five husbands. Why did he suddenly ask her to call her husband? Knowing that she was ashamed of her life, he began to talk about it.
Once this had happened she could no longer escape the dialogue. When Jesus asked her to call her husband she realized that he was concerned about her as an individual, something she had not experienced before. She had not thought of herself as a worthy person. Moreover, not knowing what she was really searching for, she had been married to five different men. Through all of her marriages, she had not found the spiritual strength that she was looking for. Because of this she had wandered the world as if she were an old used pair of shoes.
Jesus had recognized the burning and thirsty spirit within her. Telling her to bring her husband was his way to awaken her spirit. Having awakened her spirit, she entered into the dialogue without further hesitation. The dialogue moved from the secular to the spiritual matters.
The woman exclaimed, "I see that you are a prophet, sir." She was now completely open to him. The dialogue then began.
She said, "Our Samaritan ancestors worshiped God on this mountain, but you Jews say that Jerusalem is the place where we should worship God." She asked, "What is religion?" It was not a question that would be asked by a prostitute. It was a question that would be asked by a person of real spiritual depth.
Jesus's response was, "As God is the spirit, we should worship in the spirit and the truth."
I repeat, this story illustrates the greatest truth in the New Testament. Though there are many examples of truth indicated in the Bible, there is no greater truth portrayed than in this story. To whom did Jesus give such a great truth? He didn't give it to Peter or to John but to a prostitute. What an unusual dialogue it must have been! But how easy it was!
Try to picture in your mind a scene in a great drama. You have Jacob's well built of stone, covered with green moss, a symbol of Israel. Such is the setting in which the story took place. Many people were around and amongst them was Jesus, a prostitute and some very surprised disciples. The climax of the episode was for the woman to say to Jesus, "I know that the Messiah will come, and when he comes, he will tell us everything." It was apparent to Jesus that the Samaritan woman still didn't understand fully what Jesus was saying so he said, "I am he, I who am talking with you." He had never made such a statement to anyone.
Let us look, at another way this story is told. One morning there was a thirty-year-old man sitting beside a well, he looked tired and dusty and was perspiring from his long journey. He gave the impression of asking her for some water. Seeing him and having the impression that he needed water, she thought, if he were the "Messiah" he would have a more majestic shape with a face full of light and he would be riding a cloud. Because of this possible impression, Jesus wanted to teach her that the Messiah was not necessarily different in outward appearance but would have the ability to appear to the inward spirit of a prostitute like herself. He said to her, "It is only the Messiah who can appreciate and sympathize with your suffering and recognize your inward spirit." "I am he." Through this conversation, the woman understood him and was born again.
THE HAND TOUCHING THE HEART
Another episode described in the Gospel of John might be called the story of the hand touching the heart. John describes quite a different scene through the story of the woman caught committing adultery. It was early morning. Jesus took a very quiet position throughout most of the episode. The case of the Samaritan woman illustrated the problem of ignorance. This story speaks to the problem of sin. There are, however, many who do not believe the historical truth of this episode but I must disagree with them. To lose this story from the New Testament would, I believe, be a great loss. Many people's spirits can be saved by this story. The story provides direction for those who are low in spirit.
A very interesting scene is described at the end of John Chapter seven. The sayings of Jesus and his miracles had attracted large crowds who followed him. However, when night came they returned to their homes. No prophets had come from the people of Galilea so his teachings did not become their beliefs. John Chapter 7 verse 53 is "And every man went unto his own house." In other words went back to his normal everyday activities.
The Japanese poet Ishikawa Takuboku wrote a poem saying much the same:
"How sad that everyone has a house.
Each returns to his house as if' it were a grave"
It would have been better if just one had accepted the words of Jesus as truth but none did. The dark of night in a way symbolizes the blindness of the sinner. The evils portrayed in history are the result of not being able to understand the greatest truth of all love.
There are two possible interpretations of response would not have been expected from the mouth of a prostitute. Jesus by his actions had really touched the heart of the prostitute. She was a changed person. Then Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more."
Why didn't Jesus condemn her? She had sinned but Jesus knew instinctively that she hungered and thirsted for a life different from prostitution. She earnestly had wanted to experience the love of others but had not before known what to do to change her life. Jesus disapproved of prostitution but he found within her that portion which could respond to loving kindness. He was quick to forgive her and said, "To forgive not only seven times, but seventy times seven."
I believe that Jesus's first teaching is forgiveness. Dialogue cannot be shared without forgiveness and sympathy. Human beings have been blocked by passion and ignorance for thousands of years, since the time of the cave dwellers but have been given a new sense of direction through the possibility of dialogue.
DIALOGUE WITHOUT WORDS
The third episode occurs on the evening of the Jewish Sabbath. Three persons were present. It happened one week before the crucifixion of Jesus. Jesus had intimated that his death was near. As a way to express her love for him, Mary was pouring expensive perfume on his feet and wiped his feet with her hair. Judas Iscariot objected saying, why hadn't the expensive ointment been sold and the money given to feed the poor. Jesus's response was neither positive nor negative. He was quite conscious of the depth of love Mary had for him as demonstrated by this act. Mary did not respond, probably being incapable of explaining her emotional feelings.
Jesus had by this time become prepared for his death and by implication told his Disciples that it would happen. The Disciples didn't understand but Mary did. She recognized it intuitively because of her love for him. Jesus had, at one time said that Mary loved him more deeply than the others because she had been completely forgiven. Through her love for Jesus her inward spirit was opened. She could feel within her heart what the others couldn't.
The response of Jesus to Judas Iscariot was, "Let her alone; Against the day of my burying hath she kept this." He apparently was quite calm. The other Disciples detected no difference in him except for Mary. Mary realizing that Jesus would soon not be with them, thought to herself, "What shall I do?" She wanted to express her love for Jesus. True love such as hers was for Jesus, can be expressed in many ways. She then broke the alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume and poured it on the feet of Jesus.
What did this ointment, which must have been a prize possession of hers, mean for her? It was more than ointment, it was an expression of deep love for Jesus. Using the perfume in this way was from a utilitarian viewpoint wasteful but for her to use it was to demonstrate the depth of her love for Jesus.
Jesus understood the meaning of Mary's gesture, sensing the truly beautiful thing she had done. This deep expression of love for each other felt by Mary and by Jesus may have upset Judas Iscariot. An element of jealousy may have entered in.
The episode appeared to be finished after this exchange but reference was again made to it at the Lord's Supper six days later. At this point in the story, the main character of the tragedy is Judas Iscariot. Of the many puzzling characters in the Bible, perhaps the most complex; is the character of Judas. Many efforts have been made to explain his betrayal but none have been very successful. Judas's character remains a great unknown.
THE BROKEN WHOLE
On another evening while at Pendle Hill I had an unusual experience. It was during the fall months. The leaves of the trees had been turning yellow and red. The leaves hadn't fallen as yet. It was a rainy night. I was in my room thinking about many things and I felt quite lonely. My life seemed at that point to be in large part a failure. I realized that my days were numbered and that I should find a way to open my inward spirit, flow could I do this? To whom should it be opened? Someone should listen and know that I have tried to open my inward spirit. Who would be willing to listen? I was thinking about various people. Usually it is thought that the man who succeeds in his work, can speak effectively but that the man who has failed can not. I had no such success to show. Actually a person who feels he has failed, has something to say. But usually no one cares to listen. It goes without saying that it is difficult for judges, teachers and even parents to understand the agony of a person who believes he is a failure. It is the agony he feels while alone and by himself. He feels driven into a corner with no place to go. The man who has failed thinks that if only one person would listen and understand, his life would be better. I felt that way that night If Jesus were only with me, I could open my inward spirit and run and sit at his feet as Mary had done.
There is no one who could replace Jesus, was my thought at the time. My mind seemed to burst like that of King Midas' barber. The barber saw that the ears of the King were those of a donkey. If he divulged the secret, he might be killed. He didn't know what to say or do. He finally decided to go to a large open field and digging a large hole he leaned over it and shouted into it. He yelled, "Our King has the ears of a donkey."
I thought to myself, should I dig a hole and shout into it? I needed so much to do something while in this state of uncertainty. While in this state, I sensed that someone was outside my window. Drawing the curtain, I looked out. There was no one there. I returned to where I had been but again felt that someone was standing there. I looked out again, naturally no one was there.
I couldn't physically see anyone but I still felt there was something sitting under the tree outside my room window. The idea that it might be Judas Iscariot suddenly struck me. Again returning to my chair, I sat for a time in meditation.
Judas must have had a lot of things he wished to say. He might have wished that he had had a close friend who would understand him and could ease the doubts which he must have had. While at the Lord's Supper he said, "He was troubled in spirit." His annoyance must have been Judas Iscariot. During the meal he said, "Verily, verily, I say unto you that one of you will betray me." He must have hoped that Judas would even at this late date, change his mind. Not surprisingly the Disciples were uneasy about his remark and began to question him. Each saying that he surely couldn't be referring to him.
Jesus replied saying, "I know whom I have chosen." It must have worried him to break up the friendship that had been established amongst the twelve. Each Disciple though, thought only of himself. They were making the assumption that if they weren't the guilty one of whom Jesus was speaking, they would be safe. Each was by the way he asked the question saying, "Lord, you can't mean me."
They appear to have forgotten the teaching of the parable of the lost sheep. Jesus had said, "One lost sheep is more important than the other ninety-nine."
Because of the failure of one Disciple, perhaps the effectiveness of the whole group would be destroyed was the concern of Jesus. Otherwise the statement that one is more important than the other ninety-nine makes little sense.
The twelve Disciples were a group of individualistic personalities. If they had been in actuality, true converts to the teachings of Jesus, they would not have thought, "Lord, you don't mean me." They should have lamented the breaking up of the group but this didn't seem to bother them. They had not understood Jesus, who taught that one person's failure is the failure of all.
Jesus was asked by John, who would be the one to betray him. Jesus answered saying that it would be the one to whom he would give a piece of bread after he had dipped it. By revealing who it was, Jesus must have hoped that it would help Judas to change his mind about the betrayal. He felt pity, love and sorrow for him. Judas left with the bread in his hand without eating it at the moment.
Why did Judas do that? Perhaps he did so because he was very disappointed and angry. Judas was a very intelligent and reasonable person. He must have been upset when he saw the other eleven Disciples quarreling over what would be their place in heaven and he would not be there. He must have felt repulsed by them. Perhaps he wanted to be alone. At the moment he must have been in something of a state of shock so couldn't speak to the other Disciples.
Dialogue is the breath of a spiritual life. If dialogue was impossible, his uncertainty, fear and suspicion would increase. Jesus sensed this and cautioned his Disciples to be careful.
According to the Gospel of John, Judas was quite surprised to see Mary pour perfume on the feet of Jesus. It would have been repulsive to a realist. Judas being upset asked, "Why all of this waste?" The perfume could have been sold for a large amount and the money given to the poor. He must have argued about it with those present.
The writer of the Gospel of John said that Judas wasn't concerned about the poor because he was a thief. Such a statement must have been said without sympathy. It is a merciless judgement. When Judas heard the other disciples ask, "Lord, you don't mean me?" his repulsion must have been so great that it became irrevocable. It may have caused him to turn away from Jesus. He immediately left, walking out into the night. How would be have felt?
I have assumed until now that Judas was the betrayer. If so he should be cursed. My thoughts have now changed somewhat. When Judas left, he would have been very depressed and his heart broken. None of the Disciples followed to comfort him. There is little evidence to show that the decision that Judas would betray his teacher was made at a particular moment. The twelve Disciples had eaten and slept together and had shared their sufferings and their delights. They as a group had tried to live up to the expectation of their Teacher.
If this be true, how can we impose such responsibility for wrong on the shoulders of one man? The burden of Judas is that of all human beings. The effect of the betrayal night be compared as far as history is concerned to a tremendous volcanic eruption which burst forth upon the earth as if coming from the earth's center under tremendous pressure. The eruption that burst forth because of the betrayal is beyond adequate description.
If the eleven Disciples had followed him to console him and to express their love for him, the betrayal might not have happened. None of the Disciples having tried to help him, the death of Jesus became inevitable.
Looked at from this viewpoint, the eleven Disciples share the responsibility. When dialogue wasn't tried, the great tragedy of Jesus's death happened. Jesus tried to open the dialogue with Judas once more, but apparently at this point he chose the way of death.
JESUS FOLLOWING JUDAS (FRIEND!)
The question now occurs to me, "Where is Jesus now?" Some foolish people think he is high in the sky and that he will come back riding a cloud but clouds are caused by rain and dust and polluted air. Where Jesus is, is where Judas is. Jesus may be by at the side of Judas who is still annoyed by his suffering and his curse. Why? If it is so, it is because he is trying to open dialogue with Judas. The salvation of this world will come when the mind of Judas is open and he and Jesus can talk about the Kingdom of God and of hell. As long as Judas fails to be open to dialogue because of his crying and his gnashing of teeth in hell, the Kingdom of God is not secure. The Kingdom of God will be shaken by the sound of Judas's gnashing teeth. When the last son of the Devil is saved, the Kingdom of God will be secure.
At the moment Jesus was arrested in Gethsemane, he called Judas "Friend." Because of this Jesus will not forsake Judas. Jesus was crucified so that he might help Judas. Why? Jesus knew that Judas would be killed. His only chance to save Judas was for his own life to be taken. Judas' mind should be opened.
It is the belief of our day that the leadership of the world can be assured by rewarding the good and punishing the bad. This is true both in religion and politics but it has failed. It is time that we truly try to put into practice the teachings of Jesus.
"If you wish to take the speck from your brother's eye, first take log from your own eye."
As goodness is a part of human personality, so evil is a part of the human personality. If goodness and evil are a part of a person, the problem is simple. When a man steals a match, all human beings are accomplices to the theft. As long as we fail to work together, we can not expect to defeat evil. We need to dialogue with each other. The dialogue should be even more intensive when we have a failure. When will Jesus return from hell holding the hand of Judas? Jesus said, "I will go to prepare a place for you, and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again." Jesus will return when people have through his teaching eliminated evil.
I'm a Samaritan woman. I have five Masters; an inherent ethnically based religion: Confucianism, Buddhism, Presbyterianism, the Non-Church Movement and Quakerism but nothing can be master of my spirit.
I'm a prostitute caught in adultery. When I am criticized on moral or religious grounds, I have no right to be excused.
I'm Mary Magdalene. I should confess that I have seven devils in my mind. I should break the alabaster of my mind and pour its contents at the feet of Jesus.
I'm Judas. I should open my own mind. I have not opened my mind to my family, to my teachers, nor to my friends, but I should open it to Him. I feel the pressure--of history on my shoulders. Korea is a Samaritan woman, a prostitute, Mary and Judas.
Why doesn't the mixture of ignorance, passion, corruption and distrust make the world a failure? It's because all of them are as one. We will not know failure when we can appreciate that Jesus, knowing that he was being betrayed by a cold kiss, could call Judas a "Friend."
Meditation at Pendle Hill, DIALOGUEby Ham Sok-Hon
Translated by Kwahk Young-Do
and assisted by C. Lloyd Bailey
Seoul Monthly Meeting
The Religious Society of Friends
2-87 Shinchon-dong
Seodaemoon-ku, Seoul 120
KOREA
A Publication of the Seoul Monthly Meeting
of the Religious Society of Friends
February 27, 1984
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