Quakers have long since discarded the Quaker gray, the broad-brimmed hat, and the Quaker bonnet, which were once their distinguishing marks. Other Quaker ways have disappeared, too. If modern Friends use "thee" it is only within their immediate family. The prohibition against art, music, and theater is regarded as the sad mistake of another age. Quakers, a predominantly middle-class group, share the tastes and interests of most middle-class Americans.
And yet one Quaker can usually recognize another in a crowd. There is a penchant for a simple, direct style of dress, a habit of understatement, and a directness of approach which most Quakers share. In addition the birthright Friends, the descendants of the old Quaker families, bear a certain resemblance resulting from common ancestors. There is a Quaker look, Just as there is a Yankee look, although it is difficult to describe.
Since the Quakers have remained a small group in society, the old Quaker families are generally interrelated. From Maine to California genealogy quickly becomes a topic of conversation whenever birthright Quakers meet. The years of isolation, of persecution, and of the championing of lost causes have developed among Quakers a family feeling rather unusual in the modern world. One Quaker is welcome in the home of another at almost any time and place. This fellowship is not reserved for the old" Quakers, but extended to the convinced as well.
— Margaret Hope Bacon, 1969
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