Police Dock / On the Run
(A.K.A. What a Wacky World of Wonderful Wunderkinds)

The Cigarette Officer (Randy Kovitz) A drug addict in the most sublime way, The Cigarette Officer's craving for tobacco would have put a Japanese businessman to shame. As with most smokers, he failed to see that cigarette smoking was not the 'James Dean' image builder that had been thought when suffering to develop the habit as a thirteen-year old. After the zombie plague hit, those still afflicted with the craving for 'the drug of society' began to horde tobaccos, making them sometimes more valuable than food rations.

Red Necks Some party! Iron City beer for the guys; coffee out of ecologically unsound Styrofoam cups for the gals. Lots of big guns and targets more fun to shoot than a family of baby rabbits cowering in a bush! All to the tune of some really great music... 'cause I'm a man...'cause I'm a man.

Mike Though happy to hang and party with the others, Mike was entirely unsure where he fit into the scheme of things. On the surface, a dedicated redneck with an envious 8-Track collection of artists such as The Outlaws and Johnny Paycheck, but for Mike this was there only to mask the turmoil within. For upon entering high school, Mike had found himself strangely attracted to the poetry of Walt Whitman. At night in his room, while he parents roared over repeats of Hee Haw, Mike would listen with a sympathetic ear to the music of Elton John and Liberace. Why, he even found himself identifying with Charles Nelson Rielly on Match Game. Such is the quandary for closeted hicks.

Donna At the top of her class, Donna spent her school years labeled "brain" and "four eyes" (here, we see that she has finally gotten contacts). Donna, despite her valedictorian standing, was ostracized by the jocks and cheerleaders ruthlessly. Despite this, she and her other bookworm friends were secretly convinced that they were better than everyone, and with her friends would complain how awful it was that people placed so much value on looks instead of personality, which, BTW, everyone said she had tons of. Yet, Donna's secret crush on the football captain gave cause célèbre to the fact that she, like those she complained about, put looks before everything else.