Many people I know don't like Jim Jarmush's movie "Deadman": I have been mesmerized by it for the past three years, and know it as well as the back of my hand. I take the liberty to let Nobody, the American Indian protagonist, introduce himself.

It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
Jerome K. Jerome

Simplicity is the ultimate in sophistication.
Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computers. Perhaps this is why he gives us machines without floppy disk drives, SCSI buses or any other means of exchanging files.

I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.
US President Lyndon B Johnson after hearing a speech by then-Vice President Richard Nixon.

[He] couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel.
US President L. B. Johnson. Johnson was famous for his coarse and vulgar humor, but I find it very funny, especially when I think of politicians in Italy, who consider themselves a sort of elective mobility and would never stain their acquired blue blood with this sort of vulgarities. Another quote of Johnson's I like is his definition of the Tonking resolution.

It was like grandma's sleeping gown: it covered just about everything.

Or, about the war in Vietnam:

I feel like I am hitchhiking on the side of a Texas desert road during a sandstorm: I can't run, I can't hide and I can't make it stop.

This last isn't funny at all. Rather, it explains what in a sense was the tragedy of his presidential mandate. Still, it's pure LBJ in terms of style.

Freedom is another way of saying having nothing to lose
Janis Joplin