Most people live an existence of quiet desperation.
Henry Thoreau

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain

There were a great number of young men who had never been in a war and were consequently far from unwilling to join in this one,
Thucydides, Fifth Century BC

Do you, like me, miss the times when men were real men and wrote their device drivers themselves?
Linus Torvalds, the man who wrote the kernel of the Linux/GNU operating system. I hope this esoteric quote will be funny even to the not computer-literate."

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.
Harry S Truman
(Note the absence of the period after the S)

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
Harry S Truman

Military justice is justice in the same sense that military music is music.
German writer Kurt Tucholsky

I'd rather decline two stiff drinks then one German adjective.
Mark Twain

The news of my death is greatly exaggerated.
Mark Twain

I am told that Wagner's music isn't as bad as it sounds.
Mark Twain

I don't let school interfere with my education.
Mark Twain

Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.
Mark Twain

Mark Twain about the Jews:
They are human beings, and I cannot say worse than that of anybody.

You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain

When I was younger, I could remember all facts, whether they had happened or not.
Mark Twain

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Mark Twain